Warning: a big ol' whine to follow.

I am 20 weeks pregnant. My son, the toddler, is teething and has an ear infection. He had about 4 to 5 tantrums this morning. Brought me to tears. Man, am I tired. He hasn't been sleeping well at night. Which means, I haven't been sleeping well at night. I finally took him to the dr. I needed an excuse for him, because he was driving me crazy this morning. I was starting to need a reason to continue being compassionate towards him. Poor kid. So finding out he really was sick, as I suspected, helps me be a little more patient, but not less tired or frustrated. (I needed a reason, because sometimes I start to wonder, is he being bad? am I a pushover? is this normal behavior? should I be harder on him? Is this behavior acceptable?Some people really do believe tantrums are discipline problems. So sometimes it makes you question your parenting style.)

Thankfully that is all that is wrong. After the tantrum blows over he seems ok. Happy, even. I, on the other hand, am getting increasingly frazzled, fried, and desperate for a break. But, I rationalize, at least he is healthy in all other ways. Thank you, God, for my son. He really is a joy.

He is smart, the dr. said so. While sitting in the doctor's office David pointed out parts of the mural on the wall. He identified things in Spanish. It was funny that then he would look over at the doctor and, for his benefit, he'd repeat them in English. The doctor was impressed. And I was very proud.

Ah, then on the way out of the office he proceeded to have a tantrum because he wanted to play with the truck in the waiting room. He cried as I pried him out of the office; loaded him into the car; wrestled him into his car seat; drove a mile to Panera's (gosh darn it, I deserved it!); while I ordered lunch in the drive-thru, and halfway home (about another 3 miles). The doctor said the increase in tantrums is due to the cold and ear infection. Ok, doc, I hope you are right. That medicine that was prescribed better work, like YESTERDAY, because we are having a birthday party for him tomorrow. He better have fun!

My prayer:
Thank you, God, that David is almost two. He is a great kid, and we love him very much. Even when he requires extra, extra care. Give me the wisdom to continue to listen to his little person needs beyond my needs. To love and care for him even when it is tiring, frustrating and hard to do. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you that you love me; you love Shane; you love David; and that you love the one we have yet to meet. You know his/her name even before we do. Amen.