Warning: a big ol' whine to follow.

I am 20 weeks pregnant. My son, the toddler, is teething and has an ear infection. He had about 4 to 5 tantrums this morning. Brought me to tears. Man, am I tired. He hasn't been sleeping well at night. Which means, I haven't been sleeping well at night. I finally took him to the dr. I needed an excuse for him, because he was driving me crazy this morning. I was starting to need a reason to continue being compassionate towards him. Poor kid. So finding out he really was sick, as I suspected, helps me be a little more patient, but not less tired or frustrated. (I needed a reason, because sometimes I start to wonder, is he being bad? am I a pushover? is this normal behavior? should I be harder on him? Is this behavior acceptable?Some people really do believe tantrums are discipline problems. So sometimes it makes you question your parenting style.)

Thankfully that is all that is wrong. After the tantrum blows over he seems ok. Happy, even. I, on the other hand, am getting increasingly frazzled, fried, and desperate for a break. But, I rationalize, at least he is healthy in all other ways. Thank you, God, for my son. He really is a joy.

He is smart, the dr. said so. While sitting in the doctor's office David pointed out parts of the mural on the wall. He identified things in Spanish. It was funny that then he would look over at the doctor and, for his benefit, he'd repeat them in English. The doctor was impressed. And I was very proud.

Ah, then on the way out of the office he proceeded to have a tantrum because he wanted to play with the truck in the waiting room. He cried as I pried him out of the office; loaded him into the car; wrestled him into his car seat; drove a mile to Panera's (gosh darn it, I deserved it!); while I ordered lunch in the drive-thru, and halfway home (about another 3 miles). The doctor said the increase in tantrums is due to the cold and ear infection. Ok, doc, I hope you are right. That medicine that was prescribed better work, like YESTERDAY, because we are having a birthday party for him tomorrow. He better have fun!

My prayer:
Thank you, God, that David is almost two. He is a great kid, and we love him very much. Even when he requires extra, extra care. Give me the wisdom to continue to listen to his little person needs beyond my needs. To love and care for him even when it is tiring, frustrating and hard to do. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you that you love me; you love Shane; you love David; and that you love the one we have yet to meet. You know his/her name even before we do. Amen.

Why do babies scream louder these days?

Briefly, because the selective influence of predation has been removed.

What do I mean? In the past, the gene for screaming may have had the effect of occasionally attracting predators; and then, no more baby. The lineage is ended. The screaming gene is no more.

But in modern times, we've removed the effect of predators. So babies can scream as loud as they want and still survive to reproductive age.

After enough generations, all babies will scream, perhaps getting as loud as physically possible.

Colic-shmolic. It's all in the genes.

[Why did I think of this? I've been reading The Selfish Gene, an excellent introduction to natural selection (and for a general audience).]

7:01 am

I woke up around 5:55 am. Somehow, I am not able to sleep through the night. I haven't in about 8 months... I wake up about every hour and a half to every 3 hours. No wonder I need nappies in the daytime!

So, here I am at one day from being 39 weeks pregnant. So, the latest news is that the baby is not in the right position for birth. He/she is breech. Our ob has scheduled our c-section as late as possible to give the babe a chance to turn around. We've been going to a chiropractor to try a technique that might help. We've also gone to the pool a couple of times, for me to do handstands underwater, see if that helps too.

Good news is that my mom is flying out to be with us for about 5-6 weeks. I am much relieved and look forward to her being here. She is very excited about the baby. She thinks it's a girl. Only God knows the baby's gender. :)

I am more and more looking forward to meeting the babe. Yes, I will miss the evening times where the babe makes itself known through movements seen on my belly. I will also miss Shane checking the heartrate. It took so long to be heard and now, it's great to be able to check it and be reassured. Especially on the days when the babe's movements have been slow or not noticeable. I will miss being pregnant, but I am just growing more and more curious to meet this little one. My two friends that were co-pregnant with me have each had their babies already. One came way early and the other just arrived this last weekend. The first was a surprise, a boy, and the second was known, a girl. Ours will be a surprise. We all wait and wonder. It's fun to receive predictions. Especially when they are opposing predictions based on the same observations! That is hilarious!

Well, somebody just woke up. So, I guess I either best get back to bed or start my day.... bed sounds good. Have a good day.

Week 37

Two baby showers later, and we still haven't got all that we need. It is amazing how the list can be so long. Even when you've got what you think is enough there is always something out there that you gotta get. Then there are so many things that are so much just part of the business (reminds me of weddings). Anyhow, I am so thankful because we have gotten some really cute stuff. Some friends have knitted some really cute sweaters, hats, booties and blankets.... My mom wanted to knit me a blanket. She completed a cute beanie and booties. She was stressing over making a sweater, but I told her not to because there are plenty already. I've gotten several handmade articles of clothing and blankets. They are so cute that it's almost a shame that baby's outgrow them rather quickly.

Today, my rocking chair was delivered along with a new dresser. I am really motivated to complete the whole set up (could this be me "nesting"?). Last night I was up until 1:15 am rearranging and planning for the delivery of the dresser and rocking chair! I've already washed most of the clothes that will be immediately necessary. I made a funny discovery in doing so. I feel rather silly admitting this, but here goes. I've always known that babies have a special sweet smell (no, I am not talking about spit up and poop!). Most people will say it's sweet and that it eventually fades. I always thought that it was sweet and pleasant. So cute. Well while doing laundry, I discovered, that what I had always thought was the "sweet smell of a baby" was actually the smell of the special laundry detergent- Dreft! I guess I will find out what the "real" baby smell people are talking about soon enough.

In the last couple of weeks Shane's been able to listen to the baby's heart rate with a stethoscope. Pretty cool. We've been able to feel the baby hiccuping, too. Even though I am starting to feel more and more excited about meeting the baby, I am not yet excited about giving birth. The belly-movement-watching is too much fun! I am not ready to part with my belly!

As for the last post about the video... it apparently got a little over a thousand views in a week. That was enough to get Shane to remove it.

Alright, now I am just itching to get started with finalizing the bedroom/nursery setup. Gotta go now.

Creepfest!

Shane made a home video of me and my belly a few days ago. He put it up on youtube and linked to it from his facebook and myspace. In three days it's already been viewed 613 times!! It's been "favorited" 3 times, too. I gotta ask... WHY? It's only special, really, to him and me... okay maybe some family. He put music to it- which I think is sweet and the best part about it, but I just don't think my family has viewed it that many times. And there is no way of knowing who "favorited" it. I am getting creeped out. I think the video will be going down soon.

The weather has been nice. It isn't as cold as last week. But it did rain last night. It was "torrential." Of course, I just had our car washed/detailed on Tuesday! It still looks shiny, but there is mud on the sides. That really bums me out. But the real reason for the detailing is to help protect it from the salt that is on the roads. A while back we hit a bump that chipped off some paint on a side of the car near the tire. Well, that chip has started rusting. The detail did not remove the rust, but hopefully it will help keep it from growing. At some point we'll have to get it painted.

We are still on the look out for a new car. We were supposed to go this weekend that just passed. I didn't feel to well to be walking and getting in and out of cars so much, so we didn't go. Hopefully this weekend will workout better.

Today makes week 34... I can't believe how quickly the weeks are passing me by.

"fearfully and wonderfully made..."

Psalm 139:14 (New International Version)
"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."

At no other time in my life has that rang so very true. I have been reading all kinds of material about pregnancy and childbirth. I am just so amazed at what my body is made to do.

Shane and I have made a baby. I am carrying and growing that baby in me. He (for the sake of brevity, not that we know the gender) is a little person, moving about, growing, listening, surviving, living inside of me. He responds to my voice, my movement, my poking at my belly... a little life. Everything I do affects him. If I eat, drink, rest... stress,... anything I do can affect him in a good or bad way . I am already the responsible adult in his confined little life, caring for him as he matures and readies for his entry to the world as we know it. The other day at our childbirth prep class I looked around at all the pregnant ladies and their husbands. It's funny that I didn't just see "pregnant ladies and their husbands" I saw ladies with their husbands and a bunch of babies just waiting to be born! As if the ladies were planes and the babies were skydivers. The skydivers are just waiting for the right moment to take the plunge.

Even though thinking about the pain can be scary there is a reassurance that comes from knowing that we are made to go through this. To endure it. I mean, our bodies are made to make a baby and then move it out. It's got all the mechanisms for making and getting it out. Modern medicine is a gift in case there are any complications but altogether we are made to go through this process naturally. There is a lot to explain in respect to this process and how modern medicine has changed the way we see childbirth; I will not get into it now. I will have to write about that after I actually give birth. For now, I plan to be amazed and look forward to seeing how my body, my mind, my spirit will respond to giving birth.